help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Drake has all the answers
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
