No awkward lesbian experiences without me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
smell my finger.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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