My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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