the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
