i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
