Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
