I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
