she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize