And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
