I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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