Cold hands, warm shart.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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