Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
