we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
