Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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