are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
