just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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