Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
