true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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