im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
apparently the secret to your success is patron
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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