i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
