But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
