what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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