Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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