I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
