i permit you to call me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
