How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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