My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
