you would pick up someone in the library
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
