did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This baby is an asshole
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
