It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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