I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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