I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
