Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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