I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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