you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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