Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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