watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
