PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Can Purell be used as lube?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
