I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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