Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
