If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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