i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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