You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
