I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
