To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just want to make out with him forever
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
