fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
