There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
