R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
