so explain again why im purple
no
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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