a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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