hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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