Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
