My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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