What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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