Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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