wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
