I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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