Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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